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Berlin Hash #2001 - 15.12.2019

Updated: Jan 15

Although Winter is cuming, and Saturday had shitty rainy weather, the Religious Adviser was able to revert the gray and gloomy conditions, and provided the pack with a very pleasant, mild and almost-golden afternoon. The outdoor drinking (and r*nnin) conditions were perfect, but not everything was spotless. The compact group of 11 hashers that gathered at Jannowitzbrücke was bewildered by the hare’s outfit. Lemme Wanks had no signs of flour on his clothes and was wearing jeans. Did he even lay trail? To add to the shady situation, the pack found a used syringe and a broken spoon around the place where Lemme Wanks was about to start the chalk talk. The marks were standard, with the addition of “Naughty” checks, “Salmon” checks... and “F”, meaning “false trail” or “further and faster”. A bit confused by the latter, 8 runners parted ways with the wanking trio composed by Sex Trap, Oliver and the Hare. (Yes, the hare chose not to run the trail he had just laid). So the 8 r*nners were left alone, unprotected and unsupervised. The trail led to the Märkisches Museum, where the first “F” was found and was interpreted as a false trail. Also, on the premises of the museum, a peculiar statue of a man covering his parts with a dagger was spotted and taken as an unofficial Hash Flash. There were too many checks, but the pack enjoyed the dynamics of the “Naughty” ones, where you had to wait for the next r*nner to arrive and spank you so you could go check for the true trail, and so on. The “Salmon” check - for the Canadians - consisted of recreating a salmon going through the legs of the hasher in turn, rapidly slapping him/her several times in the inner thighs. (Yeah, that was weird). Near St. Michael Kirche the marks began to be unclear. The enthusiastic virgin Just Mike kept checking for the true trail with other FRBs Runs From Sex, Check My Hairy Nipples, Pissout and Krusty the Meat Miser, without much luck. There wasn’t much flour to be spotted, but the pack found a sign from a Football team called “ANADOLUSpor” (which totally sounds like a Hash name). The team plays on Berlin’s 3rd Division (8th national tier on the DFB pyramid structure). Anyway, at the corner of Wranglerstr and Touched by Boobies’ new favorite street name: Manteuffelstr, the Hare made a terrible technology violation and contacted the r*nners asking if they were lost. According to the r*nners location, they were already ahead of the planned beer stop, so the Hare directed the pack towards Schlesisches Tor, where a Full-Moon-style beer stop took place at a Späti. The disoriented, tired and thirsty r*nners highly appreciated the well earned refreshment after r*nning those extra miles. For the second leg of the trail, some r*nners fell for the commodity of a leisurely stroll straight back to Hash Home, while overachievers Symphomaniac, Runs From Sex, Just Mike and Krusty The Meat Miser decided to complete the r*nners trail. But that was a complete load of BS, as they also ended up just running straight to Hash Home and waited for the grown w*nkers group while having a beer at a bar nearby. Circle focused on punishing the Hare, of course, who got not one, but two down-downs for laying such a shitty trail and for opting not to run it himself. “You’re a Shitty Hare” and “S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L” were his awards. There was a lot of pissing on trail, technology violations, no Hash-gear and other regular accusation that were rewarded with mostly hash songs composed to Christmas tunes, which was pretty cool. The pack happily swung low after the super generous down-downs from Sex Trap and then travelled to Warschauerstr, where the On-In took place at a Burrito place called “No Hablo Español”. For the curious, it was indeed confirmed that the two white guys running the place spoke no Spanish at all.


Hare:                               Lemme Wanks

Location:                        Jannowitzbrücke

Beermeister:                  Sex Trap

Religious Advisor:         Check My Hairy Nipples

Scribe: 69nus

Other Attendees:

Symphomaniac, Touched by Boobies, Just Mike (virgin), Pissout, 69nus, Runs From Sex, Krusty the Meat Miser and Just Oliver.              

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